Does anybody else out there have a constant motion picture (or 15 second Tik Tok video) in their head of who they are and what they should be doing? Is there this “perfect” version of you that you genuinely want but just can’t quite make into your reality?
Well, it’s time to heave a big sigh of relief because not only do none of us live up these expectations, but we actually set ourselves up for constant disappointment by thinking we could ever live up to them in the first place!
I’m not saying we shouldn’t have goals or that we may as well throw up our hands and resign ourselves to, “Oh well, this is as good as I’m ever going to get.” What I’m saying is that we need to embrace the bad, as well as the good about ourselves and LEARN FROM BOTH. We need to “hold the tension” as Franciscan priest, Father Richard Rohr says, of both light and dark existing within ourselves. Yes, we should always look for the light (especially in the challenging experiences that a worldwide pandemic offers), but we also need to be willing to sit in the darkness. God is there, too. We are often seeking out every possible experience EXCEPT THE ONE WE ARE CURRENTLY HAVING. No wonder our attention spans leave so much to be desired!
We put so much pressure on ourselves to only be happy and peaceful and productive, and then feel ashamed if those are not our constant states. We want to deny or put away the messiness in our lives, instead of taking an honest look at it and figuring out what we can learn from it, and how to do better. If we’re wise (and that should be the goal for all of us!), we will examine the times we’ve messed up or not lived up to our own expectations, and recognize where God is present in it all---whispering to us and encouraging us to become who God created us to be.
We are all called to be saints We are all called to holiness. But that doesn’t mean we won’t screw up along the way. So instead of berating ourselves for not being perfect, maybe we can embrace the lessons along the way. As we journey toward holi-ness, let’s recognize that sometimes it will feel more like a “holy-mess”. And that can be the perfect place to encounter God.
It’s all our experienced messes that allow us to stand beside others and encourage or comfort them during their messy times. I truly believe that is why God allows them so we can grow and be there for others....just requires a lot of patience and strength.
I have ALWAYS done my most learning and growing when I made mistakes.
You are so right! I seem to learn the most important lessons in the messiness of my life, working each day toward becoming a saint.